Hounds with Purpose- An Interview with Angela Stokes ’08 by Anna Murphy ‘25

Mentoring is a ‘Need to Have’

Hounds with Purpose is a space for alumni to share their stories of purpose and
vocational engagement beyond their years at Assumption. This blog is created by the
Center for Purpose and Vocation and the Career Development and Internship Center
(CDIC) to connect students and alumni through experiential storytelling.

Angela Stokes graduated from Assumption in 2008. She is Director of Mentor and
Community Engagement at BUILD, a national nonprofit organization “that empowers youth
with entrepreneurship so they can become CEOs of their own lives.” At Assumption,
Angela majored in Italian Studies and found her calling “to be good and do good” as a
professional mentor and mother. She started her studies at Assumption as an undecided
major but soon became involved with community service through the Reach Out Center,
Campus Ministry SEND trips, and Community Service Learning. After college, she served
for two years in AmeriCorps. During this time, she solidified her desire to give back to the
community. Her years of service prepared her well to mentor students, helping them see
their own potential, and engaging dedicated mentors to do so too. Just as importantly as
mentoring young students, Angela loves being a mother. Assumption is grateful to Angela
for also being an active alumna member of the ASPIRE Program.

Anna Murphy ’25 is currently serving as a fellow with the Center for Purpose and Vocation. She is a Theology major with minors in Human Services, English, and Philosophy.  Anna also works as a tutor in Assumption’s Academic Support Center and is involved in a number of Campus Ministry programs as well.

Anna:  Can you share a little bit about your educational journey at Assumption?

Angela: It’s funny to talk about my educational journey because I went to college being undecided; I didn’t know what I wanted to study. I had the privilege of studying Italian in high school, which not every high school offers.  So, before I started college, my dad would always say, “why don’t you just go to a state university and major in Italian?” And I was like, “I don’t want to do that.” I didn’t see value in it. What career could I have?  I didn’t want to be an Italian teacher. And then the joke was on me because I ended up majoring in Italian Studies at Assumption. At first, I was embarrassed to tell my parents about my chosen major because they could have gotten off with a lot cheaper tuition had I gone to a state university. But that was the only thing I knew that I wanted to study, maybe not as a major, but my family was Italian, and I wanted to learn the language.

So, for the first two years at Assumption, I took many courses until I couldn’t be undeclared anymore. And then I did Italian Studies. Back then, I formed my own major in Italian Studies by putting together classes at Assumption, classes abroad because I did a semester abroad, and then a class at Holy Cross. So, I took advantage of that.  Besides taking many language courses, I also took classes in History, art, and literature. I did that mostly because it was enjoyable and interesting to me, not because I thought I was going to pursue a career in it.  Because I was studying a language, I figured a natural minor would be international business. So, I did that. One of the most valuable courses I took for my business minor was about diversity, equity, and inclusion, which was less popular in 2006 than it is now.

Angela in Perugia, Italy during her study abroad experience at the Umbra Institute

“I majored in Italian Studies mostly because it was enjoyable and interesting to me, not because I thought I was going to pursue a career in it.”

Anna: Can you share what your favorite part of being a student at Assumption was?

Angela: One of my favorite parts was definitely dorm life. I was part of a great community of friends living on the third floor of Des.  It was really amazing. That’s where I found a great group of friends that I never had before. I never had that in high school where I was kind of a floater, but I really did at Assumption. So, I appreciated that very much.

I also found a wonderful sense of belonging through volunteering. That’s when I discovered that what I wanted to do with my life was going to be outside of the classroom. I feel like Assumption really fostered that for me because service is a big part of the Catholic tradition. It was important to me, but it became even more so because I felt at home doing community service. My commitment to community service not only attracted me to a career, but it continues to be my most meaningful memory of my time at Assumption.

Anna: Was there a member of the Assumption community who had a significant impact on you? Can you share a little bit about how they impacted you?

Angela: Two people who made a tremendous impact in my life were Carleen Roy-Butler, who used to be director of the Reach Out Center, and Stephanie McCaffrey in Campus Ministry.  I just thought that their jobs were really cool. They were very dedicated to students. They were always available and approachable. I found myself having countless conversations with them after classes. We had conversations about their vocation in life and how they found themselves at Assumption. They helped me to be okay with doing a year of service after I graduated. That was not something my parents and I thought I would do because at the time it was an untraditional path.  Carleen and Stephanie both did years of service after they graduated from college and they both encouraged me by helping me to apply to a few programs, serving as references, and acting as a sounding board to talk to before I talked to my parents.  I really looked up to them when I was at Assumption, and to this day I really value my relationship with them.

“My commitment to community service not only attracted me to a career, but it continues to be my most meaningful memory of my time at Assumption.”

Anna: What different experiences did your Assumption education lead you to?

Angela: I would say it mostly just opened my eyes to community service opportunities. It exposed me to the service opportunity that I did after I graduated. I was at Assumption from 2004 to 2008, and in 2005, Hurricane Katrina happened. So that was the summer/fall of my sophomore year. Then in spring of that same year, I was part of a SEND trip to New Orleans.  That experience was so impactful for me that I ended up doing it three times in my sophomore, junior, and senior years!  While I was in a different part of the country doing disaster relief just for a week, I started to see a lot of organizations that did different national community service work. So that’s where I found out about AmeriCorps, which was the national service organization that I ended up serving after I graduated.  Although many of the people who I knew pursued service opportunities with other Catholic organizations, I wanted something different. That’s why I chose AmeriCorps. But without the Reach out Center and SEND trips at Assumption, I wouldn’t have known that AmeriCorps existed.

Anna: How has the knowledge that you learned at Assumption helped shape your view of the world and your understanding of your calling?

Angela: I guess the terms calling and vocation always kind of felt really “religiousy” to me. So, I think in my time at Assumption, I would have answered the question differently like, “Oh, of course, you’re going to be a member of the clergy. That’s your calling.”  To me, vocation meant literally God calling you to a religious life.  And I don’t know, now I don’t necessarily think that that’s true. It’s not so black and white. I do think my calling is working with people and supporting young people and also being a mom. So, I think Assumption prepared me for these two callings even if at the time I didn’t realize it.  As it usually happens, I don’t know if at 19 I knew I was going to work in nonprofits. I really didn’t know what the heck I was going to do!  At 19, I my sense of vocation was just to be good and do good.

Anna: What would you say motivates you to try to see others in that way?

Angela: Especially since having kids it’s so true about little ones how they’re so pure they’re just learning everything for the first time. And when you’re an adult, you just forget all about that. If we could all just experience something through the eyes of a child, like once a day would be amazing, even once a year could be powerful.  So, I think that is what motivates me because it just can’t be that bad. Even when everything may seem to be falling apart around us, we still have to keep going. So, I invite students to think about how can you exist in a place, and make local change, even just within your own, within your own life?  That’s what I ask myself to keep me motivated. But I am also not denying that dark stuff. I just try to face it all with a positive mindset.  There’s this influencer that I really like. He’s a dad and a teacher in New York City and he lives in a small apartment with his family. His name is Tidy Dad. He coined the phrase surthrival, which stands for surviving and thriving. And I say it all the time because I think it’s very true. Like we want to be thriving all the time, but sometimes we’re just surviving. And that’s okay. And then sometimes you’re able to do both. You’re like, you know what? I had a great morning, but my afternoon just got by.  And that’s surthriving. That’s what motivates me.

“It’s hard to continue to want to see the good in people when there’s so much out there that’s not, or you just see the dark side, but you’ve got to try.”

Anna: What matters to you the most in this stage of your life?

Angela: As a parent, I want to raise kind and thoughtful children. It’s really important to me that they are happy and healthy but also that they are kind to others, that they give back, and are grateful for what we have. I want them to know that we have less than others, but more than others in different ways. That’s really at the forefront for me. I’m a working parent. I have always worked since becoming a parent. It often is difficult to juggle. But it’s also important to me that my kids know that what I do matters in the community and that I want to stay connected to our community and give back. For me that is rooted in gratitude of what we have and what we can give to others.

Angela and her family.

Anna: Can you share what the mission of BUILD is and what is your favorite part about working there?

Angela: Our mission is to ignite the power of youth in under-resourced communities to build career success, entrepreneurial mindsets, and opportunity. What that means is that we work with high school students to offer them an entrepreneurship education to build their skill set. We do this by providing teenagers with networks of people, which is what I do, so that they can engage with mentors and learn about different career opportunities. BUILD is about providing young people the skills and the entrepreneurial mindset that can project them into success with whatever they want to do. We teach real-life skills including communication, collaboration, problem-solving, and other things that they can apply every day and are not often taught in high school.  We supplement this entrepreneurship curriculum with opportunities for the students to connect with mentors from different backgrounds to start building their networks and develop a post-secondary plan from a young age. It used to be “Have a plan to go to college.” But now there are so many other options out there and college is not for everybody.  BUILD provides the skills so that our students can have a plan after they graduate from high school.

A student giving a presentation at a BUILD entrepreneurship class.

Anna: In your eyes, what is most useful about the mentorship component of BUILD?

Angela: Our mentoring program not only is something “nice to have,” but it really is about a “need to have.” Those networks and relationships really do matter. And having them helps with building yourself and your brand and what you want to do. So that’s why I think it’s important. Part of our program also helps students recognize who’s already in their network. Sometimes students do not consider someone as a mentor, but we ask them to think of those people in their lives who might lend them a favor, give them an opportunity, or help them out as potential mentors. And we’re adding, we’re supplementing their network with people that we find. I think this is hugely important because it takes a village to raise a child, to help a student succeed. And we specifically work in under-resourced communities, so all of our students go to schools where the vast majority of students come from low-income families. Most of them do not have as many opportunities as their affluent peers. So, everybody could use a network. That’s why I think it’s really important. I think especially for young people who need extra support, mentorship is very important because it supplements and reinforces the skills that they’re learning and the confidence that they’re building in themselves. Teenagers do not always have a high degree of self-esteem all the time. Having more people to build them up and give them the courage and the confidence is a really big part of it too.

Angela and some fellow mentoring colleagues at the 2024 National Mentoring Summit in D.C.

Anna: What have you learned from all the life changes you’ve been through? From that, what advice would you give to a college student that’s interested in exploring their life, their purpose, and balancing all those changes that come along?

Angela: This is going to sound super cliché, but the only constant is change. And it’s very true. I also say everything is temporary.  Remember that pain is temporary, but also pleasure is temporary. Like you could be happy and that’s temporary because it could change. You could love your job and then you can hate your job. You could be in a great relationship and then it could turn sour. Everything is temporary.  I always remind myself of that more so when things are negative.  It’s like this too shall pass. Because like I said, I found my community at Assumption, but I really didn’t have it earlier.  If I could talk to my younger high school self, I would say, “Don’t worry, the best is yet to come. It will come for you, just keep being yourself and you’ll find your people.” I was fearful of that when I was a teenager. Like I said, I was a floater. I got along with a lot of different people, aside from my best friend, and we were not even the same year in school. Back then, I would have loved to know that something better would come and that I just needed to wait for it. I would also tell myself not to  accommodate to be something that you’re not. And if things are not good, it’s just temporary. 

For more information about the academic and service programs at Assumption that Angela mentions in the interview, please see:

Italian Studies Minor

ASPIRE Program

Campus Ministry SEND Trips

Reach Out Center

Community Service Learning

By Audrey Strmiska
Audrey Strmiska Marketing, Communications, and Event Managment Graduate Assistant